Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Life's Labor ...
In Child Development we were going over the stages and process of labor. Of course, there are a thousand questions. Some okay, some creepy, some "whoa, what?" A sampling of my favorite questions and responses:
#4
"I know that contractions are supposed to be like cramps, but I already get really bad cramps ... " [question?]
"Uh ... it will get worse. Much worse."
"Dang, I never wanna have kids then."
"Good."
#3
"THAT's 10 centimeters?!?!?! I thought that it was 10 inches!"
[Insert somewhat sinister laugh] "Nope, that's why giving birth is a process, not a water slide."
#2
"Is it true that everyone poops?"
"Yes, I believe there's even a book about it ..." [insert giggles from me and my students]
"No, I mean when they're giving birth."
"Ooooooh. Nope, but lots of people do. It's not that big of a deal - they typically expect it actually."
"Gross. I wouldn't, I'd be so embarrassed."
"I imagine you'll be more concerned with trying to squeeze an 8 pound baby through your vagina."
#1
"The third stage is the delivery of the placenta."
"What does it look like?"
"Um, a cross between a raw cow's liver and a bloody booger."
"Eeew [pause to think] What do they do with it?"
"Well, usually it's just disposed of as medical waste, but sometimes people take it home."
"Why?!"
"Some people plant a tree over it so that the nutrients of the placenta will nourish the new tree. Some people even eat it. I found a recipe online once for placenta lasagna." [Entire class makes gagging sound]
"Can you buy them?"
"No, you have to grow your own."
