"Mrs. G - I like your jeans"

"Thanks B, these are my old, fat lady jeans. Super comfy though!"

"Mrs. G, you're not fat."

"You're sweet, but yes I am. I'm okay with it."

"You know what I do when my friends say they're fat?"

"Punch them in the face?"

"Yep. Are you my friend, Mrs. G?"

"That's a negatory babe."

(silence accompanied by a surprisingly menacing glare)

"You're my kiddo and I heart you, but we're not going to go to the mall on the weekends."

"Are you fat Mrs. G?"

(combination of star-down and eyebrow lifting contest)

"... no ma'am."